Author Archives: Jud Ashman

Statistics 101

You can do anything with numbers. You can add, subtract, multiply, divide. But almost as importantly, you can use numerical information to justify virtually anything. Or you can use stupid (and mostly made-up) statistics to come to the most illogical and absurd conclusions. For instance, if 5 percent of U.S. car owners drive hybrid autos,… Continue Reading

New Year’s Resolutions Redux

OK, so raise your hand if you’ve, yet again, wasted your time embarking on that fruitless effort, making a list of ways to better yourself this year. Don’t you ever learn? Don’t you know that if you’re anything like me (God forbid), you will be lucky to last a week before breaking every one of… Continue Reading

Wascally Wabbit

Thankfully, I’m not a hunter. However, I understand there are those who really enjoy this activity. God knows why, so here’s my take on what they actually call a sport. First, a little step back into history. In the olden days, men were hunters and women were gatherers. This segregation of duties was instituted for… Continue Reading

Political Mascots

If you were in charge of picking the symbol for your political party, what would you choose? Would it be something dynamic, innovative and distinct? Or would it be something stupid, like the ones the Democrats and Republicans selected long ago? As we all know, the mascot of the Democratic Party is a donkey. I’m… Continue Reading

The Fruits of Our Labors

As I’ve mentioned before, the naming of the final holiday of summer really baffles me: Labor Day. Simply put, I have no idea why we pick that time of year to celebrate the birth process. Can’t we find something more appropriate to commemorate? Ask any mother, and I’m sure she doesn’t have fond memories of… Continue Reading

Crystal Ball

Do you believe in ESP? Color me “unsure,” as I wouldn’t be too dismissive about the possibility of some people having the ability to predict the future. Who knows?  I absolutely do believe in ESPN, though. There have been countless instances of very bizarre situations when those seeming to possess that special sense were not… Continue Reading

Private Parts

Who do you think came up with the names for our body parts? It’s a real mystery, as no one really knows. And why in the world would those references be so funny sounding? The mere mention of our privates causes many to giggle. Don’t we name most things as they relate to their function?… Continue Reading

I Believe

Yes, I’m a Jewish boy, raised in a Jewish household, and have lots of Jewish values instilled in me. Of course, Jewish guilt is a big one, but that’s a whole other story. Anyway, I’m very proud of my heritage, and for lots of reasons (not the least of which is because so many died… Continue Reading

Let’s Play Pretend

The art of acting is really the ability to pretend in a very convincing way. The good actors assume the personality and features of the characters they portray, which the audience finds very believable. I get that. But this leads me to a critical observation about an activity prevalent in our society. It’s called playing… Continue Reading

Oh Sure

Anyone wonder why our astronauts have not visited the moon since 1970-something? (OK, so I’m not sure of the exact date, but it was many moons ago.)  Instead, we have redirected our exploration efforts toward building and manning (and womanning) an international space station. And I know why. In the largest fraud ever perpetrated on… Continue Reading