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Sure Dad Says

No Sweat

What comes to mind when we think of the Olympics? As the world’s most elite athletes converge every two years for international competition, we watch them seemingly push their bodies beyond their human limits. Their years of dedicated grueling training are put on display, as they realize their lifelong dreams competing on the world stage. Millions upon millions cheer them on, either remotely or in person. We get to see the thrill of victory, and the agony of defeat, as they persevere to be the best that they can be. No Sweat Man with Balloons

Which brings me to the current efforts by some, to change the types of sports that qualify for the Olympics. Now, it’s bad enough that the International Olympic Committee has added skateboarding, but also surfing and sport climbing? Yes, they have added those too. I’m not making this up. I get that they want to modernize the Olympics, but really?  Compare this to swimming, diving, gymnastics, track and field, cycling, and marathon running. Those are real sports. Surfing and rock climbing? Huh? Does the hunky blond-haired guy with the best tan win as he hangs ten? How do they grade “sport climbing”? If she doesn’t fall off the mountain, is he the champion?

But why stop there? If they are going to disgrace this event, celebrated for hundreds of years, maybe they should add a few other “sports”. 

Here are a few of my ideas:

  • Breakdancing (they’ve actually considered this-no kidding). Spinning around on the floor like a top is a sport? I remember doing that on the playground as a kid. Who knew I had Olympic potential?
  • How about staring contests. This takes real skill-the one who blinks first loses. Imagine the amount of training required to compete.
  •  Most people don’t realize the years of practice involved in becoming an Olympic level dodge ball player. Lots of bumps and bruises to get to that competition level.
  • Imagine the time and effort one needs to spend, to become an Olympic hot dog eating champ. Pie eating can also be considered. It’s all about starving oneself before the big event. 
  • Clearly, there is a great deal of skill involved in becoming a serious tag player. Not everyone can really be “it”, you know. And of course, the rules are exceptionally complicated
  • Hopscotch is also a very difficult game to master. It takes years to develop an expert level of balance and jumping.
  • As for me, I’ll stick to watching these events on TV as I typically root for the underdog. Hey, maybe that can be another Olympic sport; “couch potato-ing”. 

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